Archive for the ‘ Self Help ’ Category

Old age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body – the wrinkles, the baggy eyes and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4:00 am and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s & 60s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say “no” and mean it. I can say “yes” and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.


To have a friend, you must be a friend, starting with yourself.
The greatest hunger a person has is to be needed. Help create that feeling in others.
The greatest virtue is kindness. You can’t love everyone, but you can be kind to everyone.
Don’t try to impress others. Let them have the fun of impressing you.
Be enthusiastic. Nothing of consequence was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Be positive. Positive people attract others, while negative people repel.
You have greater impact on others by the way you listen than by the way you talk.
Gossip cheapens the one who gossips more than the one gossiped about.
Call a person by his or her name and use it often in conversation.
Communicate cheerfulness.
Differences are bound to occur and can be resolved if conflict is managed in a polite manner.
If you are given to making fun of someone, be sure it is of yourself.
Be genuinely interested in others. Get them to talk about themselves.
A smile doesn’t cost anything and pays big dividends. It makes you and everyone else feel better.
Be the first to say: “Hello! Good to see you.”
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The golden rule is where it all begins and ends.

By James Fisher Jr


I dreamed I stood in a studio And watched two sculptures there. The clay they used was a young child’s mind And they fashioned it with care.

One was a teacher – the tools he/she used were books, music and art. The other, a parent, worked with a guiding hand, and a gentle, loving heart.

Day after day, the teacher toiled with touch That was careful, deft and sure. While the parent labored by his side and polished and smoothed it o’er.

And when at last, their task was done, They were proud of what they had wrought for the things they had molded into the child could never be sold nor bought.

And each agreed they would have failed If each had worked alone. For behind the parent stood the schoool and behind the teacher, the home.



If you want a baby, have a new one. Don’t baby the old one. Jessamyn West.

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Proverbs 19:18

Never, never be too proud to say “I’m sorry”, to your child when you’ve made a mistake.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another… James 5:16

The best academy….a mother’s knee. James Lowell

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17

A father’s words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature in the house. Paul Lewis

Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21

The child that never learns to obey his parents in the home will not obey God or man out of the home. Susanne Wesley

Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right. Ephesians 6:1

By profession I am a Soldier and take pride in that fact, but I am prouder to be a father. General Douglas MacArthur

I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you…2 Corinthians 7:4

A mother’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or fathers, even though the heart is breaking. Helen Rice

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4,8

Too much love never spoils children. Children become spoiled when we substitute “presents” for “presence.” Dr. Anthony Witham

We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. 1 Thessalonians 2:8

Many parents are finding out that a pat on the back helps develop character – if given often enough, early enough, and low enough. Glen Wheeler

He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Proverbs 13:24

Children desperately need to know – and to hear in ways they understand and remember – that they’re loved and valued by mom and dad. Paul Smally

…Let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them and show it in our actions. 1 John 3:18

An infallible way to make your child miserable is to satisfy all his demands. Henry Home

The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Proverbs 29:15

Opportunities for meaniful communication between fathers and sons must be created. And it’s work to achieve. James Dobson

To every thing there is a season, A time to keep silence, and a time to speak. Ecclesiastes 3:1,7

The 10 commandments for effective Fathers

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

1. Spend time with your children. (Ephesians 5:16)
2. Let your children know often that you love them just the way they are. (Romans 15:7)
3. Discipline your children when they need it. (Proverbs 13:24)
4. Pray with and for your children, regularly. (2Thessalonians 1:11)
5. Always be honest with your children. (Proverbs 12:17)
6. Love your children’s mother. (Ephesians 5:25)
7. Take time to listen to your children. (Proverbs 1:5)
8. Encourage your children often. (1Thessalonians 5:11)
9. Celebrate your children’s achievements. (Romans 12:15)
10.Be flexible with your children. (Ephesians 4:2b)